The second episode of shows are usually better than the first. It’s usually a chance to quickly sweep aside some characters or storylines that didn’t work (eg. Laguerta flirting with Dexter) before the audience notices, whilst really starting to flesh out the characters who are going to be with us for the long haul. That being the case I’m looking forward to see where Sopranos takes us in 46 Long.

We start with the crew (who i believe are called The Duckies) having a quick bit of bantz while watching themselves being dissected on the news. Princess Diana got whacked, worries about clones and Paulie got his dick sucked by the kids mother in Paris, twice! (“Did you hear that?“)

Opening Credits!

I vow never to skip that opening sequence! ‘…Get yourself a gun…’ *nods head*

It’s a holdup (!) by some kids I don’t think we’ve seen before (but everyone has baggy trousers and a 90’s haircut so for all I know we’ve seen these two a million times already). They take the lorry after the driver pleads with them to kick his ass, before eventually remembering the hard way that that kinda hurts.

This show loves a breakfast scene – what is this Modern Family? Oh someone is called Pussy. That would never fly on Modern Family.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Last episode they were watching a ‘laserdisk’ on TV. I just assumed that was a folksy way of saying DVD. Now they are shipping DVD players saying they are better than laserdisk… What the fuck is laserdisk?!

DVDs are one thing, but now Ducks mum is oblivious to answering machines? When is this set? Haven’t answering machines been around for decades at this point? I’m trying to remember if they had answering machines in Mad Men.
‘Sure, they were called women!’
You know what, if Roger Stirling had said that you would have laughed.

Oh speaking of Mad Men Grandma has spotted a black neighbour, d’oh jezus….

Nothing catches fire like mushrooms. Everybody knows that.

Nurse Jackie has arrived at grandmas seemingly way before any fire damage took hold which is handy. They talk about her moving to a retirement home, again. Hey, how come her kid (the boss of The Duckies) lives in a country club, whilst she (the woman in the home of the former boss) lives in a one bedroom house? That’s just whack! ….Whack? Get it? You know what, if Roger Stirling had said it…

Lou Ferrigno and associate have stepped into Central Perk to find out more about this schoolteachers car, whilst also just to remind us that these guys do live in the nineties (don’t let that whole ‘laserdisk‘ fiasco confuse you!) Hey that guy is called Paulie! How about that? He ordered an espresso. I don’t get the deal with espressos. Why would you want a thimble of coffee when you could have a whole cup? Little coffees, no thank you.

Other than it being a fun juxtaposition, that coffee scene didn’t really lead anywhere (unless it’s to plant a seed that they are going to start a rival chain called Starbucks! Tony would chip in and rename it Starducks. I’d still have time for it.)

For the first time this episode we are back with the therapist – proving me wrong that it was just a pilot device. Very quickly: Tony seeing his therapist out and about last episode made me think of the similarities between Tony and Therapist and Elliot and Krista in Mr Robot. I’m gonna track that but I could see a storyline where Tony is protective(/intrusive) of his therapist just like Elliot is. Perhaps then I’ll learn her name.

Interesting that Tony puts the blame for his mother not living with them on his wife, when she suggested it was the other way around earlier in the episode. I didn’t get the hint that she was lying, but that would make more sense.

I feel bad for Grandma. I can’t imagine her being the right hand woman when her husband was running things. Not exactly a matriarchal figure is she?

Who is this guy between Uncle and Tony? He has cancer? That felt like three bosses dividing up turf but it went over my head, as per. So did the talk in the car with some chump – the background noise on this show is too fucking loud!

My boy Paulie is back eyeing up the sacrilegious merch. Lou tells him that the guy they’re looking for is a Spice Girl (ha), Paulie takes a cafetiere for the road and with that one petty act the coffee chain never recovered…and Starducks was born! …Sorry.
Seems odd that we had two scenes in that coffee shop just to find out where some guy is, and the act of finding out happened off screen, but I digress*.

Over at Grandma Sopranos’ she’s got rid of the carer in record time.
“These blacks, who knows what they’re going to take the wrong way!”
I dread to think.

From Spice Girls to literally any-generic-90s-boyband-member-you-want-to-name and it turns out we did know the two that robbed the ‘wrong truck’ earlier in the episode. Drink. From now on i’ll call them Dumb and Dumber…

Oh they stole the DVDs from the truck? Jesus am I always 3 steps behind or what? Did I miss an explanation as to what laserdisks are as well?

Woah Dumber just went flying, really living up to his reference. Called that one. This guy won’t be with us for long me thinks.

Would anyone mind if we just had a quick TV maths break?

Okay ready? Complete this equation:

Have you got it yet? Time’s up (#TimesUp)

Lets get back to it. We’re back in the therapists office, where she was once again clearly implying something then genuinely believing she did no such thing. This time the idea of Grandma acting out to live with the happy family is being planted, then quickly ignored for a weirdly passionate pitch for a nursing home. I guess this woman works on commission.

Oh jeez Dumber is back, swinging his dick outside a nightclub.

He didn’t. Drink.

Dumb and Dumber are gonna be a real pain in the ass for our main man and Uncle if Dumber has anything to do with it. Christopher has decided to have none of it. Smart move.

The guy just loves Italian suits so Dumber goes ahead with it anyway. This show is like the opposite of The Wire (maybe, I’ve never seen it). All the criminals who are making it look easy are white; one black guy turns up and shit hits the fan.

We are finally getting Grandma into a home (sick of hearing about it) but not before she is convinced by the woman behind the desk, who it turns out is Italian too, because of course she is, EVERYBODY is!

The gang meet up at the warehouse to discuss friendly fire, leadership and suits. Disappointingly Dumber gets out of it alive (for now…) and I gotta say Christopher was treated rather unfairly. He’ll go far that pretty boy. Tony insists they return all the suits. Actually, no, not all of them. Has anyone seen a 46 long?

Oh the big man just flying off the handle at his (Italian, obviously) therapist because she desperately wants him to admit he hates his mother. I can’t help but feel she’s over stepping the mark here. Elliott did hate his father but I don’t remember Krista bluntly forcing him to say it unprovoked. Not happy that she got her nursing home commission this woman keeps on manipulating. I’m not sure about this woman one bit.

At his mother or not (and I honestly think not), Tony ends the episode by showing that he does indeed have some pent up anger but in his defence this guy is a fucking idiot!
“Is that a person or an answer machine?”
If any line deserves an ass kicking it’s that one.

There we have it. A good episode, probably not as good as last weeks for me but we got the ball moving a little faster. Seeds are being sown to a power struggle within the group but I’m still waiting for a rival gang to turn up (will they be black or Irish?). I’ve got to say so far I’m having a lot more fun with the family dynamic than I am with any scene where we are sat around talking about what to rob, who to kill or who works for who.

Lots of episodes left but we don’t seem to be getting much on the kids so far, which is one area I feel like some of the best material can come from. I see the priest didn’t make it from the pilot (he’ll be back though right?), no hint of extramarital actives for Tony or Nurse Jackie either this episode. Oh and only one of the two old white men up for the role of Uncle made it into episode 2. Congrats to him – cleared that right up for me!

That’ll do it for this episode – I’m off to Google what the fuck a laserdisk is.

Scene of the week
When word spreads around the staff room about Antony Jr.’s uncle.

*But I Digress would have been a great name for this blog – Is it too late to change it?